Reaching the End

“Many people start on the spiritual path but never reach the end.” Teresa of Avila, The Book of My Life (1562)

All week long I have been thinking about my dear friend Sister Timothy Kirby who remained on the spiritual path her whole life and who has been and will continue to be an inspiration to other spirit seekers.

Sister Tim was lovelovelove to me, the embodiment of the first reading in my prayer book today which comes from I John 4: “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God...God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.” I've studied this text for a very long time—Brad and I chose it for our New Testament wedding text thirty-one years ago—and each time I read it I feel encouraged to become more loving. (Brad and my children probably wish I would read this text every morning because we would all reap the benefits.)

Teresa writes in The Book of My Life, “Many people start on the spiritual path but never reach the end.” I am a beginner on this path and have a very long way to go. Sister Tim is miles ahead of me, and now she has crossed over to walk on the other side. I plan to meet up with her someday, and I hope you will join us too. Until then, I'll just keep trudging along praying all the while that God keeps us moving in the direction of Sister Tim and that someday after all the walking—all those endless steps!—God and Tim and you and I will meet together in a circle of lovelovelove.

Amen.

Friday Prayer Report 43

"Whenever God gives a person the grace and courage to strive for this blessing with all her heart and soul, he is bestowing the greatest mercy. God does not deny himself to anyone who perseveres. Little by little, he increases her courage, ensuring that she will reach her goal." Teresa of Avila, The Book of My Life (1562)

Here is my "little by little" Friday prayer report for the week of December 20-24:

Monday 1
Tuesday 1
Wednesday 1
Thursday 1
Friday 0

Grace and courage to you and to me!

Very Sad News

My dear friend Sister Timothy Kirby died yesterday afternoon. I keep remembering the passage in Revelation she helped me practice for Advent Vespers. I am thinking especially hard about when the voice from the throne speaks these words:

“See, the home of God is among mortals.
He will dwell with them;
they will be his peoples,
and God himself will be with them;
he will wipe every tear from their eyes.
Death will be no more;
mourning and crying and pain will be no more,
for the first things have passed away.”

Keeping Jesus Present

“When I was in prayer, I would try to keep Jesus Christ, our Lord and our Good, present within me. I would think about a scene in his life and then try to picture it with my mind’s eye.” Teresa of Avila, The Book of My Life (1562)

Very soon now it will be Christmas Eve, the night we remember the birth of baby Jesus, the newborn who was swaddled and lying in a manger in a barn because there was no room for him or his parents anywhere else.

To prepare myself for Christmas, I’m thinking of ways to keep the Christ child alive in my heart. In The Book of My Life, Teresa says she would remember the life stories of Jesus when she was praying, picturing him in her mind’s eye. I am doing that very thing these days—thinking of a baby boy who grew into a young man and remembering the life he lived which included many acts of social justice and ended with the humiliation and shame of death on a cross.

My Christmas wish is to find Jesus present within me every morning—“born in us today,” as we sing in the hymn—and I would like to be the Christ child's hands on earth. Will you join me? Together we can make Christmas come every single day of our lives.

Friday Prayer Report 42

"Whenever God gives a person the grace and courage to strive for this blessing with all her heart and soul, he is bestowing the greatest mercy. God does not deny himself to anyone who perseveres. Little by little, he increases her courage, ensuring that she will reach her goal." Teresa of Avila, The Book of My Life (1562)

Here is my "little by little" Friday prayer report for the week of December 13-17:

Monday 1
Tuesday 1
Wednesday 1
Thursday 1
Friday 1

Grace and courage to you and to me!

Serve and Soothe Your Companions

“And so, friends, if you want to lay a decent foundation, strive to be the least among you. Offer yourself as a slave to God and try to find ways to serve and soothe your companions.” Teresa of Avila, The Interior Castle (1577)

Examples of what Teresa writes about can be found in everyday life, and I have a good example of the writing today from something that happened this morning.

Brad and I were late for church today because of a cup of coffee I just had to drink before we left the house. He was suspicious about the coffee—he thought it would make us late, I think—but he let it go the way good spouses in a long marriage often do. In fact, he drank a cup of coffee along with me and he didn’t pester me about it on the way to church either.

We were just barely late by the clock—8:32—but we felt very late because the church bulletins were all gone and we couldn’t find a place to sit in the Sanctuary. The third Sunday in December is our special music Sunday which means there is special music even before the service starts. Most parishioners remembered about the special music, but I didn’t…You know what I was thinking about (coffee).

Then a wonderful thing happened, something I didn’t deserve. “Let’s go to the balcony,” I whispered to Brad, and we headed up there. Our church is being remodeled and I hadn’t been up to the balcony in a long time. Were we ever in for some surprises. First of all, the new organ has completely overtaken the balcony and instead of room for sixty people the way it used to be there are only two rows with a total of eight chairs to sit on now. Of the eight chairs, five were already taken by a family of four (second row) and an elderly man with a camera (front row). I sat next to the elderly man and Brad sat next to me with one chair to spare.

“Do you want a bulletin?” the man behind us asked. “Yes, thanks, they are all gone,” I said. He and his wife nodded because they already knew. They shared one of their bulletins with us, and we settled into the service.

The seven of us ended up being quite a lovely worshipping community up there in the balcony, and I appreciated it very much. The elderly man was from out of town, there to hear his daughter play the organ and direct the choirs. “The organist is your daughter? I think she’s wonderful,” I told him. “She always was wonderful, even as a little girl,” he replied. When it was time for the offering, Brad took ours out of his pocket, but the man behind us said the ushers don’t come up to the balcony anymore and then he sent one of his sons down with the balcony offering. At communion time, Brad and I followed their family downstairs and to the communion rail. I asked the elderly man if he was coming, too. “No, I’ll stay here…You go ahead,” he said. Afterwards Brad and I goodbye to everyone and commented how good the music sounded from the balcony and how welcomed we felt.

Jesus always encouraged his disciples to help each other, and Teresa offers the same advice. In The Interior Castle, she instructs us to “try to find ways to serve and soothe your companions.” Our balcony companions made our worship experience a delightful one today—they welcomed us, they shared their bulletins, they helped us with offering and communion—and I will remember their kindness for a long, long time.

Friday Prayer Report 41

"Whenever God gives a person the grace and courage to strive for this blessing with all her heart and soul, he is bestowing the greatest mercy. God does not deny himself to anyone who perseveres. Little by little, he increases her courage, ensuring that she will reach her goal." Teresa of Avila, The Book of My Life (1562)

Here is my "little by little" Friday prayer report for the week of December 6-10:

Monday 1
Tuesday 1
Wednesday 1
Thursday 1
Friday 1

Grace and courage to you and to me!

What God Wants

"Believe me, the safest thing is to want only what God wants. He knows us better than we know ourselves and he loves us. Let's place ourselves in his hands so that his will might be done in us. If we consciously maintain this intention, we cannot go wrong." Teresa of Avila, The Interior Castle (1577)

My daughter Emily Rose is a senior at the University of Minnesota this year, and because of her I have a large number of people I care about who soon will be transitioning into life after college. Lately I've had it in my mind to talk to one of these students about whether or not he has ever felt called to the ministry. This young man will be graduating with a biology degree from Luther College in Decorah, Iowa, and I believe he would be a very fine teacher and coach; however, I also believe he would be a very fine Lutheran minister. At Christmastime, I hope to have a conversation with him about the ministry and whether he has considered it for his profession.

What would this conversation sound like? I certainly won't be telling a young college graduate how to live his life, but I will be praying for what God wants. In The Interior Castle, Teresa reminds us that God "knows us better than we know ourselves and he loves us." There are many ways to serve--God needs each of us and our special gifts--and what to do becomes clear as we move along the path. "Let's place ourselves in his hands," Teresa writes, "so that his will can be done in us. If we consciously maintain this intention, we cannot go wrong."

I am looking forward to Christmas when I will spend time with the young people who are home from college, and I'm especially looking forward to seeing one young man who will soon be holding a diploma in biology. Until then, I will be praying for God's continued blessings on all of these dear students and each of us as we seek to recognize what God wants, today and every day of our lives.

Friday Prayer Report 40

"Whenever God gives a person the grace and courage to strive for this blessing with all her heart and soul, he is bestowing the greatest mercy. God does not deny himself to anyone who perseveres. Little by little, he increases her courage, ensuring that she will reach her goal." Teresa of Avila, The Book of My Life (1562)

Here is my "little by little" Friday prayer report for the week of November 29 – December 3:

Monday 1
Tuesday 1
Wednesday 1
Thursday 1
Friday 1

Grace and courage to you and to me!

A Great Advantage, Part 2

“We are like fledgling birds who may not be ready to immediately soar but, by watching the parents, little by little learn to emulate them. This kind of assistance, I know, is a great advantage.” Teresa of Avila, The Interior Castle (1577)

Last week I wrote about what a great advantage it was for Brad to have my mother in the kitchen with him this Thanksgiving. In the same way, I feel a great advantage in having the sisters at the monastery to help me in my spiritual learning. Yesterday I was definitely feeling thankful because I spent some time with my dear friend Sister Timothy Kirby in her new room at the monastery. (You may remember Sister Tim as the book club friend who fills me with lovelovelove and helps me to be a better human being.)

This week Sister Tim moved into a non-cloistered room where she can receive visitors. I was glad to see her new space and practice my Advent Vespers reading with her. On Tuesday we are having St. Scholastica’s annual Advent service followed by an outdoor lighting ceremony. Sister Tim spends time with the Advent readers every year to insure the readings are as listener-friendly as possible. Before I met with Sister Tim, I’d practiced the reading so I wouldn’t disappoint her but I was pretty sure there'd be things she'd suggest for improvement. When it came time to read the text, she asked me to close the door so we wouldn’t be disturbed. Then I situated myself closer to the door than her chair, and I began to read. It was easy to visualize the two of us in the chapel with me at the podium and Sister Tim in the pew. What I read came from the Book of Revelation:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adored for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,

“See, the home of God is among mortals.
He will dwell with them;
they will be his peoples,
and God himself will be with them;
he will wipe every tear from their eyes.
Death will be no more;
mourning and crying and pain will be no more,
for the first things have passed away.”

And the one who was seated on the throne said, “See, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Then he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give water as a gift from the spring of the water of life.”

When I finished, Sister Tim smiled at me encouragingly and said there were a couple of things I could think about doing to improve the reading. First, she said it would be good if I could practice the reading many times so that I could do it without looking down at the sheet so much. “You are telling a story,” she said. “If you look at the people, it makes it easier for them to listen to you.” I felt a bit of relief over this advice because I knew practicing a lot would be something I definitely could do…Whew!

The second thing she told me will be harder to do, but it captures my imagination and I’m having fun working on it. Sister Tim said to read the narrator's part differently from God's part so that people hear the two voices: “Think about how you would hear God speaking. ‘In a loud voice,’ it says. Think about how you would hear God speaking in a loud voice. When you read it, be the voice.”

I really liked that idea: Be the voice. I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to be John who has awakened from a dream after listening to the voice of the One seated on the throne, what it would be like to be John telling others the story of what I dreamed. I decided that God would sound like my friend Denise Starkey who is another member of our book club, so when I read that part I’m going to try to sound as confident and strong as Denise. And when I’m reading the narrator part I will be John, the dreamer and poet, sharing the vision of a new day for us all.

Teresa is right when she says, “We are like fledgling birds who may not be ready to immediately soar but, by watching the parents, little by little learn to emulate them. This kind of assistance, I know, is a great advantage.” What a great advantage I have experienced this week in having dear, dear Sister Tim guide me in my Advent reading! When I stand in the chapel next Tuesday afternoon proclaiming that God is coming to be among us, it will be so much better for the listeners because of Sister Tim’s assistance…Thanks be to God.