Give Yourself Over to God

“And so, if I were asked for my advice, I would say this: if a worthy inspiration arises in you, never hesitate to manifest it. Do not let fear rule your actions. If you give yourself over to God and practice detachment, there is no reason to be afraid that things won’t turn out. God is all-powerful. May he be blessed forever.” Teresa of Avila, The Book of My Life (1562)

The reason I started The Wisdom Project is because I am participating in the Shalom Program for spiritual direction at the St. Scholastica Monastery in Duluth. The readings, classes and activities have been helpful in supporting and deepening my faith. I have become aware of many blessings that have come to my family and me while I have been part of the Shalom Program, so for my entry today I am going to share a story about one of the sweetest things I’ve appreciated the most.

On Saturday my daughter Rebecca graduated with her MSW from a joint social work program of St. Catherine University and St. Thomas University. She has worked hard for six years (four years of undergraduate schooling followed by two years of graduate school) to make this dream come true, and everyone in the family is very proud of her. Rebecca is now looking for a social work position and living with family friends in New Brighton, Minnesota, during her job hunt; however, earlier this spring we were unsure about what Rebecca would do and where Rebecca would live when it was time to move out of her St. Kate’s apartment.

In late January, students in the Shalom Program read God, Dreams and Revelation by Morton T. Kelsey, a book which examines Christian dream interpretation. After reading it, I decided to record my dreams in a journal and one of those dreams—a very short, telegram-like dream—caught my attention: There was a move going on and I remember a house but that’s all. Maybe Rebecca was moving. It was someone in the family and it was a happy move. That dream gave me a strong sense of contentment and I still can see the house in the dream today. (It looks like the house where Rebecca is staying right now, but to tell that is to get ahead of the story.) During our February class, the Shalom teachers gave us time to work with the dreams we had brought. We had a variety exercises to choose from, and I expanded the telegram dream to gain meaning by asking questions and receiving answers:

Lezlie: Dream, why have you come to me now?

Dream: Rebecca is soon to be graduating and “moving on” to other things. You and Brad are worried about his, but you need not worry. She has everything she needs to move on. She will be moving and it’s a happy thing. You can be happy for Rebecca and at peace. Do not worry about whether or not she will have good health care coverage or enough money to pay for her medications. Do not worry if she will find a safe place to live and a job that will sustain her. Just be happy for Rebecca that she is graduating and moving on. Just be at peace for Rebecca and give her the peace that comes from parents believing in and trusting in their child. Give Rebecca the gift of highest value--the gift of knowing she can handle her own life, that she can make good decisions and set her own course. Remember the words of Julian of Norwich: “But all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”

The words that came to me in class that day have been very helpful to Brad and me as we watch Rebecca navigate this life transition. I’ve read the paragraph aloud many times, to Brad, to friends and to myself. I especially like these six words—“Do not worry…Be at peace.” People in my Shalom group asked if I would send them a copy of the dream’s wisdom, and I have frequently drawn upon it in the past months as I’ve watched Rebecca pass her licensing examination, present her graduate research, and walk across the stage to receive her diploma.

Teresa’s words have been helpful to me as well. One night in April when I was doing supper dishes—maybe I was praying, but I wasn’t consciously praying—an idea suddenly popped into my head: “Maybe Rebecca could live with the Martinsons this summer.” It felt like God was whispering in my ear. Sherry and Rollie Martinson are long-time family friends: Sherry made my wedding dress when Brad and I got married; Rollie performed the wedding ceremony and later baptized Rebecca. When I told Rebecca about the idea, she liked it and in no time at all she had talked with Sherry and the idea was a reality. Teresa writes, “[I]f a worthy inspiration arises in you, never hesitate to manifest it.” The unbidden inspiration I had that night washing dishes has become a blessing for Rebecca that fills me with gratitude.

The Shalom Program is teaching me to be a wise friend to others, but what I hope for even more is that I can learn to be a wise mother to my children. There is much left unresolved in Rebecca’s life right now, but I trust that God will bless her in the transition process. The Dream says, “Give Rebecca the gift of highest value—the gift of knowing she can handle her own life, that she can make good decisions and set her own course.” If I can follow this advice, I will be the wise mother my daughter needs.

Teresa’s advice supports these words and deepens them: “Do not let fear rule your actions. If you give yourself over to God and practice detachment, there is no reason to be afraid that things won’t turn out. God is all-powerful. May he be blessed forever.” While my dear grown-up daughter finds her way in the world, while she writes in her journal and talks on the telephone, while she looks for jobs and finds permanent housing, while she babysits children and drinks coffee with her friends, I wish to live without fear, give myself over to God, practice detachment, and bless all things holy.

It will take many years of practice before I become as wise as I hope to be, and it’s possible you might have the same feeling. All we can do is encourage each other. In every day and in every way, we can give ourselves over to God, practice detachment and bless all things holy. And may we always remember to thank God for our sweetest blessings!